Inexplicable phenomenon? Jordanians lose their passports in Cairo…a lot!

At least that’s what I have deduced after looking at the lost & found section in the Egyptian weekly classifieds paper, Al-Waseet.

The first scan is from Al-Waseet’s July 7th issue, the other is from its July 23rd issue (I added the red arrows). I didn’t get any other issues between those two, but didn’t need to to notice the weirdness…

Both issues have a combined total of 13 ads in the lost & found  section.  Seven, count’em, SEVEN ads are for lost Jordanian passports! That’s more than 50% of all ads for lost stuff in Cairo in two weeks! (well, one is for a Jordanian national I.D. Card, in the interest of statistical accuracy)

Does anyone have any logical explanation for this, or do Jordanians just lose their shit a lot?

On flipping family members the bird

Yesterday, during yet another battle with the perpetually horrible Cairo traffic, I got a phone call from my cousin that goes something like this:

Cousin: Hey Hani what’s up!
Me: Nothing much. Just pulling my hair out in traffic.
Cousin: I know. You just passed me and gave me the finger.
Me: Was that YOU?!
Cousin: Yep.
Me: Next time don’t cut me off you bastard!
(actually, I apologized, but that’s what I should have said :) )

Et tu, Brute?

On Cairo, Cairenes and broken windows

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Cairo is a truly fascinating city.

It is an immense jumble of everything: people, vehicles, concrete, animals, junk. If you are a first-time visitor, not familiar with how things go in Cairo, the city mercilessly attacks your senses and overwhelms you. Cairo shocks you. If you recover from the initial sensory whack,  chances are that Cairo will reel you back in with its “charm”. Such fuzzy charm can be attributed to qualities that trace to the things that create the Cairene urban madness itself. It is a charm that big cities share, but which differs in its flavor and the intricacies that gives it its local colors.

Contrary to popular belief, Cairo is not an ancient city (at least not in a country where history is often referenced in the thousands of years). There is a lot of history in Cairo, but then there is also a lot of history in Damascus, Athens and Berlin, Delhi and a host of other Old World and New World (if such labels are still in common usage) urban centers. A key element to Cairo’s special flavor of “Big City charm” is its set of stark contrasts against a backdrop of historical mashups.

If asked about how they feel about their city, most Cairenes would say that they absolutely hate living here; they hate the chaos, bad traffic, bad roads, bad planning, bad everything. Then they would launch into the clichéd tirade about what is wrong with Egypt, bloviating passionately and comprehensively about everything that is wrong that you are led to anticipate they’d begin bloviating passionately and comprehensively about how they believe things should be corrected. How to bring Cairo, and maybe Egypt, to its old glory.

But it almost never happens. Those who ramble about what is wrong are way better at being descriptive than the prescriptive. The guy tearing his hair out in front of you in a rant about how dirty our streets are will flick a cigarette butt on the floor to make full use of his arms in his very animated rant, but only after blowing the last exhalation of smoke in your face as he talks, then he’ll lob his crumpled, now empty pack of cigarettes out of his car window as he waves goodbye.

There is a weird alienation between what Cairenes want and what they are willing to do. It is some sort of social schizophrenia that makes this one of Cairo’s starkest contrasts, and one of its most intractable dilemmas. I know you are tempted to make the argument that it is an issue of a “hierarchy of needs”; that the affected majority is too busy securing their daily bread than to worry about fixing the world around them. “Need breeds apathy” is the essence of this argument.

“People whose lives are barren and insecure seem to show a greater willingness to obey than people who are self-sufficient and self-confident. To the frustrated, freedom from responsibility is more attractive than freedom from restraint. They are eager to barter their independence for relief of the burdens of willing, deciding and being responsible for inevitable failure. They willingly abdicate the directing of their lives to those who want to plan, command and shoulder all responsibility.” ~Eric Hoffer

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With all due respect for your interpretation of Maslow’s theories, I believe this is an overly simplistic, even naïve, analysis. One which dilutes this issue to a single element among a multitude of other more “actionable” ones.

Describing how things are is only useful to the extent it provides value to actionable steps that define how they should be. Otherwise, being descriptive has zero value. Scratch that, it might even have a negative value in the way it impacts latent intentions for action.

The quest for a universal overarching remedy for everything that is wrong with Cairo (and elsewhere) is futile.

Think smaller. Much smaller.

Think about fixing the broken windows. Figuratively or practically. It starts from there.

German town adopts Cairo-style traffic management

Reuters reports that a town in Germany is taken the rather radical action of removing all traffic lights in order to lessen the frequency of road accidents.

From September 12, all traffic controls will disappear from the center of the western town of Bohmte to try to reduce accidents and make life easier for pedestrians.

I say that Cairo has “implemented” that approach since, well, forever. Of course, the results so far are questionable, to say the least, but that’s besides the point. The point is we have been pioneers in a ground-breaking approach to road safety and we didn’t know! They call it “Shared Space” in Europe, but I will reclaim our right to name the approach as the “Cairo School of Thought on Traffic Management”. Hell, Cairo is essentially one large “shared space”. It is not just shared space, it is a friggin traffic battlefield.
[the ideas] have already been implemented in the town of Drachten in the north of the Netherlands, where all stop lights, traffic signs, pavements, and street markings have gone.

Any Cairenes reading this will immediately have a familiar mental image of such fine disregard for the aforementioned unnecessary urban ornaments.

The beauty of the Cairene system is that we have not completely done away with traffic lights. We merely discarded their functional uses and decided to retain the hardware for purely decorative and psychological purposes. They still flash red, yellow and green and make for a neurovisual sedative (is there even such a thing?) for road-rage crazed Cairene motorists.

I predict a few problems will face our unsuspecting German friends though:

  • The German town in question, Bohmte , has a puny daily traffic flow of 13,500 cars. That’s weak, at best, by Cairo standards. Traffic is just not intense enough for even a pilot phase!

  • German pedestrians have not been adequately conditioned to cope with the dynamics of survival in the so called “shared space” of people and vehicles. Releasing such green subjects into the freshly liberated traffic wilderness is potentially catastrophic. For an excellent example of this see this story.

The Cairo CouchSurfing meetup

Wednesday, May 2nd 2007. A CouchSurfing meetup that involved people from seven countries and almost disastrous felluca ride. Great fun.

Left to right: Haytham, Christian, Hani, Anna, Micheal, Darren, Bianca, Random guy # 1, Random guy # 2

Picture courtesy of Christian.

For the ininitiated, CouchSurfing is a social networking website aimed at cultural exchange and enabling travelers to make connections worldwide. If you don’t have an account yet, you should.

Not that anyone is hanging on the edge of their seat…

..but I still haven’t got around to posting the rest of the entries from last summers trip to Europe. Hell, I almost forgot I even had a blog. The fall semester has started and its chockfull of fun: a full-time job and a full credit load. Probably not a good idea since I will be abroad for at least a month. Oh well. I am officially striking out the word “boredom” from my dictionary.

As for the rest Europe trip entries, I’ll probably just rip out the pages from my notebook, scan them, and post them here with a bunch of random pictures. Good luck with my handwriting. Not that anyone reads this. Well, I know of at least a couple people who check here every now and there is always the rare chance of a mildly amusing story amidst the crap I post here. But anyway…

This semester I am going all out techy. I am using a tablet PC to manage my utterly chaotic life. I don’t actually own the thing, since I currently can’t afford this kind of gadgetry goodness, but let’s just say its on an extended loan from work. I’ve actually had the thing for around 6 months now, but just recently I’ve begun to discover its wonders. So I basically decided to go paperless this semester. Almost paperless. I plan to accomplish this feat by using a Fujitsu Siemens P1510 tablet PC and a bunch of cool software apps. More on that later in a series of posts documenting the whole “paperless experience”.

On a different note, I came across this somewhere on Facebook. I consider it an addendum to my post on traffic in Cairo from way back:

1. Speed limits are just suggestions
2. You take the 6th of October Bridge to go almost every where in Cairo
3. You can see your school but somehow you’re not getting there
4. It’s faster to walk
5. You get stuck in traffic at all times of the day
6.There’s no such thing as a rush hour, Its a rush 24 hour
7. Its not actually tailgating unless your bumper is touching the car in front of you.
8. A yellow light means at least 5 more cars can get through.
9. A red light means 2 more can.
10. You can cross 4 lanes of traffic in under 30 seconds
11. Stop signs mean slow down a little, but only if you feel like it
12. A slow driver is someone who isn’t going at least 10mph over the speed limit
13. Someone has honked at you because you didn’t peal out the second the light turned green.
14. You’ve honked at someone because they didn’t peal out the second the light turned green.
15. Rush hour lasts all day
16. You know at least 3 alternate routes to avoid sitting at a stop light.
17. You refer to distances in minutes, not miles.
18. When you put on your turn signal to change lanes, the people next to you speed up.

All of the above is very true.

Speaking of traffic, I am currently on the hunt for a motorcycle. When telling random people I know about this, the range of responses I’ve been getting varied from speculation on how long it will take before I am hit by a truck, to facial expressions of real and uninhibited terror. I like the Honda Steed

Blog like an Egyptian

Venturing out of my usual reading in the technology/gadgetary and travel blogospheres, I’ve discovered a significant number of Egyptian blogs (by “Egyptian” I don’t necceicarily mean that the author is Egyptian…s/he might also be an expat or simply a blog with Egyptian-themed content). Most of these blogs provide quality content, and many write eloquently and make for very intresting reads.

While a lot of these blogs’ content revolve around Egyptian politics, Islam, and other Middle Eastern political issues (they even coined a term for blogging about President Mubarak: Mublogging!), many have other themes, like poetry, culture, photography (one of my favorites is this photoblog: Egyptian Eye) and technology. Some blog in English, some in Arabic and a few do it in a literary cacophony of both.

Here is a quick categorized list of (what I think is) the top of the pack who are currently rocking the blogosphere Egyptian style:

N.B. List is in no particular order.
N.B. 2. Categories are meant to represent the dominant theme of the blogs’ content. That does mean that this is the exclusive theme of the blog.

Egyptian/Middle Eastern Politics:

From Cairo with Love
This is Cairo
Egyptian Sandmonkey
Big Pharaoh

Culture & Religion:
Cynicistan

Photoblogs
Egyptian Eye
Somewhere in North Africa
Samer Atallah

Technology
FooLab GNU/Linux related content.
EGLUG “Where the penguins eat ta3meya” (nice tagline:))

...and for a semi-comprehensive list of Egyptian blogs on the web, see The Egyptian blog ring

Cairo street-crossing: an illustrated beginner’s guide

With the icy coolness and steel-nerved agility of a seasoned Cairene urban warrior, Mike dodges a close call with death as he demonstrates the proper way to kill yourself cross a main street in downtown Cairo…

Check out Mike’s illustrated beginner’s guide to Cairo street-crossing

Reiterating my rant on Cairo traffic from last April, driving and crossing the street in Cairo are awesome skills that Cairenes don’t actually think about until they witness a non-Cairene (try to) perform.